
Go over and try it for yourself!


Now all you guys can finally learn why the women’s restroom line is always so damn long!When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it’s your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied.
Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall. You get in, to find the door won’t latch. It doesn’t matter the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants. The dispenser for the modern “seat covers”; no doubt invented by someone’s mom, is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn’t. So you carefully, but quickly, drape it around your neck (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the floor); yank down your pants, and assume “The Stance”.
In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You’d love to sit down, but you certainly hadn’t had the time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold “The Stance”.
To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind you can hear your mother’s voice saying “Honey, if you’d tried to clean the seat, you would have known there was no toilet paper!” Your thighs shake more.
You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday – the one that’s still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That will have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible; it’s still smaller than our thumbnail.
Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn’t work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet. “Occupied!” you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT.
It is wet, of course. You bolt up; know all too well that it’s too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered sweat because you never laid down toilet paper – that that there was any, even if you had taken the time to try. You know your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, frankly dear, “You just don’t know what kind of diseases you could get.”
By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl and spraying a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes. The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too.
At this point, you give up. You’re soaked by the spewing water and wet toilet seat. You’re exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks.
You can’t figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of waiting women,
You are no longer able to smile politely at them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe (where was that when you needed it?). You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman’s hand and tell her warmly; “Here, you just might need this.”
As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men’s room. Annoyed he asks, “What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?”

F is for Flowers. I think that it's my most favorite thing to take pictures of!

Well, the crisis is over! It was all a dumb misunderstanding. Someone called Children's Aid on us. They said something that was totally untrue about my husband. They talked to the kids alone and then said, We are good here. They are going to talk to my husband on Wednesday and then close the case. I found out about it on Wednesday night but didn't know the reason until today. It was stressful wondering what it could be! But now I am going to keep our family to ourselves because I swear someone is out to get us! Thanks for all your prayers and nice words. I couldn't have done this without you!

I found this cute picture this morning and this is exactly how I feel. I'm hanging in there. News has been delayed until Monday. But I hope that this will be the last delay because I can't handle these nights I lay awake wondering what is going on. I hope to be able to tell you all the pathedic story on Monday and how it was nothing and how everything is going to be okay. Thanks to all of you that are thinking of me....think of me until Monday kay?
I hope to hear today about what is happening. Yesterday was sooooo stressful I have a headache today. But I hope to have news! Here is another funny joke to leave you with!| You Are Likely a Second Born |
![]() At your darkest moments, you feel inadequate. At work and school. you do best when you're evaluating. When you love someone, you offer them constructive criticism. In friendship, you tend to give a lot of feedback - positive and negative. Your ideal careers are: accounting, banking, art, carpentry, decorating, teaching, and writing novels. You will leave your mark on the world with art and creative projects. |
Ten Things A Mom Doesn't Want To Hear


Mingle2 - Dating Site
| Your Pickup Line Is |
![]() What's a sexy hottie like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? |
SO tomorrow I leave on vacation. My good friend and partner in crime (shhhh don't tell anyone...) will be taking over until I get back. Please make confessing7girl welcome. She's really cool!! (Confessing I know you can do it. And before you know it I'll be back. That number one is for you!!!)
I can't believe how fast this day has went! I have been running around with my family getting ready to go camping. The kids are just strung out because they are so excited. The cats think they are missing out on something but little do they know that they are coming with. I can't wait to be in the mountains....finally> I have been dying to see them since I moved out west. Now I get the chance.
I found this at Absolutely True's website and I had to post it...It's amazing if you can actually read it!