Mom's Out There

You Know You're Having A Bad Day When...

Your horn sticks on the freeway behind 32 Hell's Angels motorcyclists.

You've been at work 3 hours before you notice that your fly is open or
your blouse unbuttoned.

Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.

You call the suicide prevention hotline and they put you on hold.

Everyone avoids you the morning after the company office party.

The bird singing outside your window is a vulture.

You wake up and your braces are stuck together.

Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife/husband.

You put both contacts into the same eye.

You have to borrow from your Visa card to pay your MasterCard.

Nothing you own is actually paid for.

You invite the peeping Tom in...and he says no.

The Gypsy fortune teller offers to refund your money when she sees your
future.

People think that you're 40 and you're only 25.

When the doctor tells you are in fine health for someone twice your
age.

You call your spouse and tell them that you'd like to eat out tonight
and when you get home, your find a sandwich on the front porch.