Mom's Out There

Well I finally have to talk about it. My hysterectomy. It's almost a month away and I am started to get anxious. I'm 32 years old and I'm losing my womanlyness...at least that is the way I feel. I have always had problems with that time of the month so they were waiting for me to finish having children. I am done now...believe me. No one tells me that parenting gets harder the older they get. Anyways, I have my two children, a boy and a girl...they told me I could have none.

I have been having such bad dreams about it though. I didn't have c-sections with my kids so I don't know what that pain is going to feel like. It probably hurts worse than a tattoo. I like getting tattoos! I just am scared that I will go to sleep and wake up and miss the experience. I am staying awake for the surgery. He's not sure how bad my other stuff is in there so he's waiting to open me up to find out. How reassuring is that?? So I'm staying awake.

Almost two summers ago I was really sick. Like almost died sick. I had a really bad allergic reaction in my lungs. Anyways, they had to stick a tube down my throat to see how bad the infection was. I remember looking up at the ceiling and then all of a sudden I was in the hallway waking up alone. I guess it really got to me because of the dreams I have been having.

Today's question is:

What scared you the most in your life?

Have a good day...Keep smiling!