Mom's Out There

This joke was in my mailbox and I had to share it will you all....
(This is what I have to look forward to when I turn 50!!!)

The Perks of Being Over 50
-- Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
-- In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.
-- No one expects you to run into a burning building.
-- People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"
-- People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
-- There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
-- Things you buy now won't wear out.
-- You can eat dinner at 4 PM.
-- You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
-- You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
-- You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
-- You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
-- You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
-- You sing along with the elevator music.
-- Your eyes won't get much worse.
-- Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
-- Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weatherservice.
-- Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
-- Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.